Self-Control :
“When a man is broken, he can destroy everyone around him by what he does. When a woman is broken, she can destroy everyone around her by what she says. That’s why for a man self-control is the greatest power. And for a woman silence is hers. When a man has learned to not be out of control - but to be out of people’s control - because he has self-control. That’s a powerful man. And when a woman has learned to be silent - doesn’t mean to be silenced. I’m silent because I’m watching, because I’m observing, because I’m waiting for the opportunity to speak. And when I speak, people listen, they take heed to what I’m saying because there’s wisdom coming out of my mouth.”
- Double Grace M.
”Women are checking out men all the time and they have all sorts of tricks for doing that. They might be provocative, for example, because they want to test a man to see if he can control his temper … Any smart woman is going to do that because she wants to find out if her partner - she wants someone who has the capacity for aggression -but she wants someone who can control it because a man will be provoked by children. If he can’t control his temper, then he is going to be aggressive.”
- Jordan Peterson
Karmic Debt :
”Karmic Debt is through our negative and positive acts, we’re punished with time …People are like, ‘What do you mean you’re punished with time? There’s always 24 hours.’ But how productive are your 24 hours? Go get into an argument with your spouse, or go get into an argument with someone, and you’ll see that you’ll lose 4 hours of that day. Maybe 10 hours. Depending on how bad it is. And if you’re losing time, if you’re losing time, if you’re clogged up in your head and you can’t detach from that moment where you created some negativity on someone, or you made them feel internally just shitty. You’re being attached to that - an eye for an eye - for exactly how much you put on them.”
- Wes Watson (start at 12.30)
Master Your Energy :
The energy is always going to return to you. When you’re living in this cycle of being negative all day, and putting out negativity, and that’s the only energy you’re putting out, it’s going to return to you in a different form in what you put it out in …
Master your energy.
Do your best to Master Your Energy and what you put out. Unless that’s what you want. You’re entitled to whatever you want to create. Whatever experience you want to create for yourself. But if you’re tired of that shit. Adjust the energy. As best you can. Adjust what you wake up thinking, what you say, and lastly, what you do.
- Nipsey Hussle
Skeletons :
All your fuckin' captions lately talkin' 'bout happy and glowin'
All of that snappin' and posin'
Whole time, he jealous of your past, who the fuck was your last?
Askin' questions 'bout niggas,
And you get slapped in the face if you happen to know him
Domestic abuse, that man is not a man for you, he's a pathetic excuse
Lyin' through your teeth, scared of lettin' your skeletons loose
But you stick around, 'cause who's out there that's better for you?
- Drake, “The Shoe Fits”
5. #LifeIntoExistence : WAKENING WOODS OF SCANDINAVIA
Saturday Afternoon :
Before entering her Jeep
I notice the package on my doorstep …
We had scheduled to
Have lunch at Joy Bowl
As we hadn’t seen one another
For about two weeks …
It’s quite ironic
Because her home
Is a five minute walk
Down the street …
I tell her about my travels next week
And she tells me that she’s happy for me …
”Detach …
Go with the flow …
Just have no expectations …
Accept everything as it is …”
What an irony
That this is the theme
Of our conversation
I show her the text
From my mentee
Before departing our location …
She smiles at me …
”You can’t save everybody.”
Back Home :
I was invited to visit my nephews.
And I’d refused.
The mother is the ex-girlfriend of my brother
They were in a toxic, abusive relationship
And I had no interest in seeing
Any more skeletons in her closet …
I remember telling her twice to walk away from him
- Yes, he is my kin -
But what’s more important
Are the lives of the children …
But she wouldn’t listen.
Blind love has buried more
Than any war has done …
I had no interest in playing mediator
I didn’t want to see someone
Repeating their trauma in a different form …
So, I chose to have lunch with
My neighbor instead …
One of my few regrets.
Allah please forgive me …
Remind me that people can transform
— When they choose to —
And I thank God she chose
Someone who loves her and her children too …
My mother loves her new boyfriend.
”You know children never lie …”
She says.
”The way they embraced him
- As if he was their father.
And the way that he didn’t treat
My grandchildren any differently
Than his newborn.
That made me love him even more.
I am happy to see my grandchildren
In safe, secure, and stable hands …
I really love him.”
Strong Men Create Beautiful Times …
My mother couldn’t reach my brother that day.
He claims that he had lost his phone
And I am not in a position to call him dishonest …
However, if I were in his shoes
I would also be in a difficult position
To be forced to listen
To praises of the man raising my children …
I don’t even know the man
But I told my mother
That the next time they’re in town
I will treat them to dinner
I simply appreciate strong, soft men
Who bear responsibilities
And make others lives easier …
It’s who I aspire to be …
It’s not a questions of loyalty
I do not love my brother any less
— Nor do I excuse his past —
Rather, I value men of action
Who fearlessly do what is asked
My loyalty lies with my values.
Crafting Strong, Soft Children
Two emotional circumstances
I had to help my students navigate on Friday …
First :
”Mister, she’s buggin’.”
Definition :
— Buggin : To cause problems or drama where/when problems and drama shouldn't or don't exist. —
”I doubt it.
But tell me the situation.”
He describes the problem that
He is having with his girlfriend.
It’s a simple case of her being jealous.
However, his dismissing her emotions
Causes her to feel more insecure
And since she feels unsure
Her emotions spiral even more …
”Calm down.
Just be there for her.
If she needs space
— Give it to her —
If she wants to be alone
— Say you’ll be there for her
Whenever she is ready —”
I didn’t learn how to hold space
Until I was in my late twenties.
He sees me before the final bell rings
Gives me a smiles and a thumbs up
I guess it’s the small things …
Second Predicament …
”Mister, my boyfriend shuts down when I try to talk to him.”
”How have you tried to talk to him?”
And she tells me how she abrasively
Tells him that they need to immediately
Resolve what’s plaguing
Her mind and that it MUST be handled urgently …
”Men don’t work that way.”
”How do they work?”
”Just as the men need to be more sensitive
With women during certain times of the month …
Men also require a degree of sensitivity.
I appreciate your courage to ask for your needs.
That’s very important.
But he should not feel bullied.
If he feels that way
Then he will shut down
And put up walls
To not hurt you
Or to not have the conflict
Increase exponentially …
Negotiate with both of your feelings
And then schedule a time to resolve it
When you both feel ready …”
I wish I had learned that earlier.
The amount of scars I’d carved in my twenties …
And I leave that Friday knowing
That there are some students
Who wish to be helped
That I can potentially “save”.
So, on Saturday, after receiving
The “Blocked Message” information
From my mentee that had just been sent
I pray a silent prayer to Allah
— One of acceptance —
And before entering
The door of my home
I grab the package of cologne :
WAKENING WOODS OF SCANDINAVIA
That had just been sent
It’s all in God’s hands.
Alhamdulillah …
— K.S. Fort
——————————
*** NOTE :
Starting tomorrow, November 20th, 2023, there will be a shift in themes. I am headed to Atlanta, Georgia next week. Thus, I cannot enter that space with the same mindset I have in Springfield, Massachusetts because I am entering that space to relax and detach.
Thus, in honor of that, I will be writing a short series titled :
#GeorgiaPeaches : Everything’s Sweet.
The "#LifeIntoExistence” series will continue when I return.
It will be a beautifully detached journey — with no expectations.
Inshallah …
These Kids Take The Worst Pictures Of Me :