“Has not Allah Almighty sufficed you in His book wherein He said, ‘Verily, Allah commands justice and excellence,’ (16:90)? Justice is to have a sense of fairness and excellence is to prefer others to yourself. What remains of manhood after this?”
- al-Murū’ah (1/97)
”The foundation of a man is his intellect, his honor is in his religion, and his manhood is in his character.”
- Adab al-Dunyā wal-Dīn 17
“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
- G. Michael Hopf
”I think when you’re loved well, those edges just start to soften…
‘Weak men create masculine women. And strong men create feminine women …’
- Not by force. But simply by loving well and leading well. A lazy, weak man creates a woman who is required to step into the role that he doesn’t step into. But a strong, humble man creates a woman who is safely submitted to her husband - without fear of losing who she is. Without fear that she’s going to be dropped.”
- Randy Heather : The Heather’s Podcast
15. #Forbearance : Weak Men Create Hard Times
This Morning : 2:31 AM
I don’t know if I should pray this morning …
I am too angry to sleep
And too sad to speak …
Will Allah still accept me?
Flashback : Last School Year.
College Campus Tour
”Are you fucking stupid?
”Mr. I was just joking?”
”The sign clearly says ‘No Smoking On Premises”.
Can’t you fucking read?
What if someone else had seen you?
Do you know how much worse it would have been?”
”But I wasn’t smoking it, I -”
”Give it to me.
Then get out of my face.
I swear to God, I can’t even
Speak to you right now.”
He hands me the Vape pen
Then he rejoins his friends …
He thought it would be funny
”To pretend to smoke”
And have a friend take
A picture in front of the sign …
Imagine if the Campus Police had seen him …
Shock Collar : Early 2022
I remember a woman was disgusted
By the fact that my dog
Has a shock collar …
”I think it is abusive.”
She said before chasing her dog
Around the park
Because she refused to listen to her commands …
My dog is often off-leash.
He will respond when called.
He has complete Freedom …
But he is endowed with a deep sense of Responsibility.
I remember a man once told me :
”You need to make sure that
Your dog is well-trained.
He is a pit bull.
If, God forbid, he ever ends up in the kennel
They are the dogs who are
Usually put down first.
They are, unfortunately, perceived
To be quite dangerous
And are not viewed compassionately.”
And from that moment on
I began to train him
With the shock collar quite strictly …
I knew what was at stake.
I knew that it would be my mistake
If he didn’t behave properly
And caused harm accidently …
Significant ingredients of love
Are order, structure, discipline, responsibility
Honesty, integrity, and the willingness
To make a decision where the consequence
Is unpleasant for everybody ….
Flashback : Fifteen Years Old
My dog is extremely sick.
Cancer.
The veterinarian shows us the bill
For the surgery
And I stare at my mother …
I knew we couldn’t afford it.
She calls my father.
She explains the situation
Then passes the phone to me …
My dad tells me
That he can make it possible …
- But there will be consequences.
It would be extremely difficult
In the house for the next several months
And that I should consider that perspective
Before making a decision …
And ‘til this day I honor him for his honesty.
And how he never pressured a decision.
After our conversation,
I turn to the doctor
And ask him to put her down …
My first dog
The first being
I was ever given the responsibility
To love and care for
I was now granted with the authority
To see her life end with ease …
And as the injection
Flowed through her veins
And she slowly passed away
I remember how my soul seeped with every tear
And how it was so important to not turn away …
Because I had to take responsibility.
This Morning : 1:24 AM
”Kibbs, we need you to go downstairs.
You have to ask him to leave.”
”Wait! What the fuck is going on!?”
My mother tells me
There has been another argument …
An absolutely bizarre circumstance
As he is accusing his partner
Of being a “vampire” or “witch”
- Or some random shit about an evil spirit -
And that’s the reason he is unable to sleep …
Let’s ignore the fact that
He spends most of the day smoking weed
Sleeps in because he is unemployed
And spends his day watching TV …
So, I head downstairs.
”I actually don’t want this to be a long conversation.
Please leave by 4 PM today
Or I’ll call the police.”
And that was it.
We agreed to it.
He respected my decision.
If you’re someone who often follows through
Your words hold weight.
Your words mean something.
That conversation is not actually what broke me …
It is when I speak with my sister
That I begin to weep …
”I am so fucking angry and so disappointed in you.
I cannot believe you put me in this position.
How dare you !?
Two years!? Two years ?!
I can’t believe you chose to suffer through this.
What a waste of everyone’s fucking time.”
And I observe how shallow her eyes are …
For years, he had been draining her soul
Forced to work a second job because he refused to
Bearing all of the weight and responsibility
Of their relationship …
Lust can make people so fucking stupid.
I remember my period of
Lust in Berlin
Once you have
Dipped in its deep waters of sin …
You actually learn a valuable lesson.
It is nothing more than a physical urge.
No different than hunger.
No different than the temptation
To drink or smoke.
”A man must be disciplined.”
I remember my German mentor telling me …
So, I went months fasting sex.
I went on dates by myself.
I went to the bar
And ended my interaction with women
With a conversation.
I didn’t want to be irrationally drawn
Manipulated, pulled and/or controlled
By what’s physical …
I didn’t want to fall
Delusionally and lustfully in love
For the sexual attributes of a women
While simultaneously masking her empty soul …
No one can hold their body above my head.
There can be no ultimatum spoken
Where the only item
On the negotiating table is sexual intercourse
And I would submit myself wholly
To a relationship where there is no joy
Respect has vanished
And where I’m asked to silence my voice …
I am just as happy alone.
I have been in enough women
That the threat of someone leaving me
Or withholding love from my physically
Could never bring me to my knees …
”What do you have between your legs
That I haven’t had in other women?”
I remember asking a someone
Who was attempting temptation
And trying to have me fall for her illusion …
She was barren within …
She went silent.
I finished drinking my beer
Went home and fell asleep.
Once you have passed through lust
You learn that true love is
Falling for someone’s character …
Order
Structure
Discipline
Grace
Patience
Forbearance
Many people view these words
And associate them with
”Toxic masculinity” …
Until a decision has to be made
And no one wants to bear the consequence …
When no one wants to have the hard conversation
When everyone is afraid to redirect the “tough” student
When a life must be mercifully taken
Or when someone must pull the pug
For the unnecessary - soul draining - suffering
Of an unhealthy relationship to end …
That’s when strong men are appreciated.
Allah …
I beg of You …
Mercifully accept my prayer this morning
Though my heart is heavy
Remove the burdens
I have unfortunately been positioned to carry
Strengthen me.
Allah …
Please strengthen me.
Because only strong men can create beautiful times.
Mashallah.
- K.S. Fort
The goal this year is to document as many memories as possible.
This is the series to the next book, “#Forbearance : Building What’s Beautiful”. This book will be available towards the end of October.
For those interested in books written in the past, feel free to read the Google Documents at this link.
Lastly, for those who want to support my journey financially (please remember, I do have a fur baby), purchase the Kindle books at this link.
Enjoy the journey and live with intention …
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