— Favors —
And if you should count the favors of Allah, you would never be able to number them.
Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
- Surah An-Nahl, 16 : 18
— What is Love —
13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13 : 1 - 13
— Orange Peel Theory —
On TikTok, the hashtag #orangepeeltheory has more than 47 million views. The viral phenomenon has nothing to do with the citrus fruit. It refers to a relationship “test” many couples are using to gauge the strength of their partnership.
The challenge calls for participants to ask their partner to peel an orange for them. If their significant other says yes, that means they are willing to help with small tasks. If they say no, it might signal they are less likely to offer support throughout the relationship, the theory suggests.
— Love is Freedom —
“Love knows no boundaries. Love cannot be jealous, because love cannot possess. It is ugly, the very idea that you possess somebody because you love. You possess somebody – it means you have killed somebody and turned him into a commodity. Only things can be possessed. Love gives freedom. Love is freedom.”
- Osho
— Divorce and the Little Foxes —
Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.
— Song of Solomon 2 : 15 - 17
— Second Most Important Decision —
1. #EasyWayOut : Orange Peel Theory and Freedom of Love
January 17th, 2024
3 : 42 PM
When I met with my neighbor last Saturday …
— Reread : 22. #LifeIntoExistence : Black Licorice —
We discussed relationships
And she asked for my perspective
- Note -
This is a wise old woman
In her sixties
Who has been with her husband
Since they were in high school …
”I want a life that is adventurous.
And I need to be with someone
Who completely understands this.
I know the dangers of my risks
And I am not saying she has to
Follow me in the perils I engage in …
I am completely comfortable
With my wife wanting to stay
In and read a novel
While I jump from a plane …
As long as she is comfortable
With my having no interest
In attending her book club meetings …”
”There’s a big word you’re not saying …”
My neighbor responds.
”Really? What is it?”
”Freedom.”
Yes.
Freedom.
That’s it.
Someone who understands
That we are two completed souls
Who are choosing to be in a union
Not someone searching for completion
By being in a relationship …
For a deeper dive into that theory
Read an old poem I’d written titled :
Completed Two’s
Allow me to shift gears for a moment
Yesterday, I stumbled upon the
#OrangePeelTheory trend
— Read the definition above for context —
And I was perplexed …
Before sinking further
Allow me to share an example …
I saw that video and felt so confused
As people do not enter my Circle of friends
If they cannot be used …
Allow me to be excruciatingly honest …
The Circle of friends I have
Are a Circle of givers
You’d be shocked at the money
We have exchanged, allowed one another to borrow,
Or have simply gifted …
When had had very little
It was in the hundreds
Now, that we’re more comfortable
It is in the thousands …
So, we’re all using one another.
And we’re very open about it.
We use one another for advice
For safe spaces
For a different perspective
To modify a current solution
To meditate with
To travel with
For networking opportunities
And for a free space to stay
When we travel to different places …
So, that’s why I was so confused
By the Orange Peel Theory video …
These are not considered issues
When you step into my Circle …
So, if I wouldn’t accept
That kind of stingy behavior
In a friendship …
Why would I allow it with a lover?
— Screaming and Swearing —
68. And your Lord inspired the bee: “Set up hives in the mountains, and in the trees, and in what they construct.”
69. Then eat of all the fruits, and go along the pathways of your Lord, with precision. From their bellies emerges a fluid of diverse colors, containing healing for the people. Surely in this is a sign for people who reflect.
— Quran, Chapter 17 (The Bee)
”Please don’t scream at me.
Please don’t swear at me.”
Two very simple requests.
You’d be surprised
At how infrequently they’re met
When a lover is upset …
I want to share a longer video with you …
This is another video of Nuri Muhammed …
I have a great deal of respect
For his perspective on relationships …
In this video he says something interesting
— If you do not have much time skip to this portion
It’s at the ten minute mark —
He says that he notices when people are
Speaking with their partners
Because their tones are “cold, mean, and short” …
Isn’t that interesting?
I found that people believe that a relationship
Allows poor behavior to be permissible.
I had lovers who thought it was okay to trauma dump …
What if I am not in a space to help you bear your burdens?
I had lovers who thought it was okay
To show up late and not apologize …
Now, that we share a bed
Do you no longer value my time?
And I had previous lovers
— Who were cut off immediately —
Who thought it was permissible
To swear and scream at me …
Since we’re now sharing evenings
Is it only my body you see?
Has my heart disappeared from memory?
I have no fear of conflict.
The Circle has sat down for hours
To resolve an issue that we had
And have been completely open
And fully compassionate
To all perspectives …
No screaming.
No swearing.
No blaming.
An intimate conversation
Intent on a compassionate resolution.
And I refuse to lower that standard.
— Moral of the Story —
When I came back from my days of detachment
— Read the series #DogDays —
I noticed something …
It was so easy to travel with my dog.
Just as it is so easy to travel with my Circle.
There is no struggle
No arguments
Open communication
Compromises are made easily
We’re fully present
And all sides give generously …
I actually have no interest in engaging
With anything that does not feel
Joyful, free, soft, calm, and easy …
Why would I trouble myself?
I’m on a diet …
Why am I always inspired …
Below is a sneak peak into the conversation
That we’ve had in the Circle’s group chat this week …
I’m surrounded by dreamers …
How can you expect me not to dream big?
— Before Closing —
I love ending things on a positive note
I began by showing you an example
Of how a partner shouldn’t treat another
I want to end with the an Orange Peel Theory example
That shows a man who is a walking green flag …
Dear reader …
I would also challenge you
To give generously to the ones you love …
If I say I love you …
Why would I keep anything from you?
Why wouldn’t I want you to prosper?
Why wouldn’t I want you dreams to be realized?
Why wouldn’t I also want you cup to runneth over?
If I love you
I give unconditionally.
That’s what my Circle has taught me.
And they have been my best example of love
As they have taught me how to love freely.
I am blessed.
Alhamdulillah …
- K.S. Fort
————————
This is the series to the next poetic phase, “#EasyWayOut : Isolated to Inspired”.
Be aware, this series will have several breaks. One break will occur when I head to Las Vegas for a week. Another break will occur during Ramadan when I will be completely offline.
For those interested in books written in the past, feel free to read the Google Documents at this link.
Lastly, for those who want to support my journey financially (please remember, I do have a fur baby), purchase the Kindle books at this link.
Enjoy the journey and live with intention …